#186 You are responsible for your own life and your own happiness.

Is a certain aspect of your life not going the way you'd like it to? Are you unhappy with yourself?  I have a great fix for you - Blame.

In recent weeks I have had the same problem coming at me from the past. What did I do? I blamed it on something else. I do this and I'm sure at some point you have done it too. It won't make the problem go away. 

Before my grandma passed away, her last words of wisdom to me was that life was going to keep throwing the same problems at me until I finally figured out the right way to correct them. Sadly I grew older and forgot about that philosophy. I got caught up in myself and didn't think anything was my fault. Sometimes they were and sometimes they weren't. I was never wrong in my eyes.

She was right though. The problem wouldn't go away until I figured out what the root of what was causing it. Most of the time the problem started with me. Maybe it was my approach of the situation or the way I handled it. Maybe my problem could have been solved earlier if I did something differently. 

If I was late to work, I would blame traffic. If I forgot to pay a bill, I would blame the business for not reminding me. If I had a disagreement with someone, I'd blame them for not being open minded or considerate of my opinion. If I was upset about not getting hired for a job, I would blame the company.  I should have left earlier and accounted for the traffic. It was my responsibility to know when my bills were due. If I expected someone to be open minded and considerate of my opinion then I should be open minded and considerate of their opinion. If I wanted the job I should have stayed at a job longer than a year. It is so easy to put the blame on something/someone. I think that's why we do it. The best way to deal with a problem is to not deal with it. 

I am still learning to take ownership of my problems. 

Somethings are not your fault though. You can't control other people, the weather or certain health issues.

-BUT-

You are the the one responsible for your relationships, your actions, your appearance, your money management and most of all -Your Happiness. So stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your own life.

That's The Way We Get By

My life has taken a huge turn this year... where I found out that I had a brain tumor and that I would become a first time father in 2013.

I created this blog to talk about some things I learned through this.

I won't go into heavy detail about everything that has happened this year. Here is a brief summary of events that started in late February:

It started with drunk night that ended up with me in the hospital due to small seizures.
I had a CT Scan done where they found a lesion and the doctor pretty much wrote it off as nothing.
My wife saves my life by having them compare a scan I had two years ago.
The doctor compares the two and notices that the lesion has doubled in size.
I then started numerous appointments and many MRIs at the Cleveland Clinic.
I had a brain biopsy surgery in early April.
I was told that I had a cancerous brain tumor by The Cleveland Clinic.
We then found out some great news that my wife was pregnant!
After that we decided we should get second opinion from University Hospital.
I had a craniotomy weeks later to remove tumor.
Unfortunately none of the tumor was able to be removed.
Started my recovery for about a month.
A few weeks later we found out that tumor is non cancerous. We were very relieved.
Even though it was labeled as non-cancerous I would still have to go through some radiation.
Yesterday I qualified for a 15 year clinical trial at UH.
It brings me today where my wife is halfway though her pregnancy and we couldn't more be excited.


I know this is a bit morbid, but in the beginning of everything I constantly asked myself what would people say about me after I was gone? I didn't ask this question because I thought I was going anywhere soon, but to put my life in perspective. I figured it was a good way of looking at what kind of person I am today and what I should change. For the most part I felt that I was good person, but I needed to change somethings around. I was pretty selfish and I wasn't always the best friend I could be or involved in my family as much as I could have been.

Your family and friends are really important. You're going to need them to get through life. Maybe not directly, but if you look hard enough, you will see that each one of them taught you something at some point.

If you have important people from the past that you lost touch with, send them a message or give them a call. They were in your life for a reason and again you learned something from them at one point.

I have been told from a lot of people that my attitude has been amazing, that my positivity
is inspiring, and that I was dealing with this better than they would if they were in my shoes. Truth is I had my moments of weakness, no one knew that except my wife. I tried my best to hide it from my family and everyone else around me.

Most of the time I figured the best way to live was to keep going and not stop to worry. It sucks to have it, but why get hung up on it? It's not going to make it any better.

Supportive friends, family and my wife....That's the way I got by.